Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Latest Sexual Harassment Case — Multiple Women & Men Accusers Surface (more expected)

In the face of the recent scandal by San Diego Mayor, Bob Filner, a new sexual harassment scandal has been surfacing in New Jersey. An short hairy scoundrel, known by Caesar by his accusers, can only be described as an animal with little self control. While cuter than Filner, this image was recently found of Caesar with an equally creepy smile.

Smiling Caesar

Caesar’s accusers include a wide assortment women and men, children and even animals. The details of the horrifying story are still be finalized as Gloria Alfred, Al Sharpton, and Edwin Sayres (CEO of the ASPCA) have all stepped forward to file their respective lawsuits.

The accusers include:

– Susannifer Jaffe, a 96 year old, 350 pound great grand mother. On multiple occasions, Caesar licked her face, sniffed her crotch, and “barked aimlessly” when his advances were ignored.

77 year old sue

– Kyle Goldstein, an innocent 4 year old boy, who was knocked over multiple times as Caesar leaped and slobbered on him — even as Kyle screamed “NO”.

– A man, who has only released his first name, Eric, claims that Caesar pawed at him and woke him up at all hours of the night.

– Neighbors of Caesar have reported equally erratic behavior. Butt sniffing, eating other people’s food, and invasion of “personal space” – often standing 3 inches away from his victim as he begged for attention.

While Caesar may acknowledge that he has some behavior problems, the most sickening thing is that he is expecting the tax payers to pay for his behavioral training. After 2 weeks of training, he expects to fully healed and trained — ideally to prepare for his 2016 run for the GOP nomination.

President Caesar2009-04-01 at 19-49-45


A Tribute To My Dog and Friend For 10 Years

While I typically try not to use my blog as a “diary”, I felt it was cleansing for me to jot down a quick tribute to my dog Jada whom I painfully had to say goodbye to this past weekend after a 4-5 month battle with cancer.

It’s kind of scary, but next to my wife, parents, and my brothers, I probably spent more time with that dog than anyone else in my entire life.   She was always there to play with, take a walk, or just sleep on my armpit on the couch.  So, if my readers will indulge me, I wanted to provide a quick tribute list to Jada.

  • For affectionately leaning against my leg so hard the first time we met that you almost knocked me over.
  • For breaking down a door that first night (when we tried to put you in the basement) because you weren’t going to be left alone when you knew there were people in the house.
  • For your ability to spin while holding a stick by your teeth.
  • For your bloodhound like incredible hide and go seek skills.
  • For accepting your fall in priority from #1 to #2 (after my marriage) and then #3 (with the entrance of my son Kyle).
  • For shaking in a way that always made me feel guilty when I screamed at the computer after losing big hands when I played poker on-line.
  • For putting up with our new dog, Caesar, as well as my son who both managed to sleep on you, wrestle with you, and drive you crazy in a way I know you loved
    Jada, Caesar, and Kyle Sleeping On Couch
  • Despite the fact that you were part pit bull, for being probably the worst watch dog that ever lived — even happily jumping in the car of the pizza delivery guy.
  • For always being there with a spin and a smile regardless of whether we were gone for 1 hour or 10 days.
  • For preparing me to be a father (as far as sacrifice, responsibility, and the ultimate rewards of having someone that relies 100% on you)
  • And finally, for never complaining or whining– not once – as you got sicker and sicker to the point where you couldn’t walk or eat.

Rest in peace my puppy.